Perfectly reasonable

Any reasonable person would find it perfectly logical that I sat around enjoying wine, cheese & crackers while waiting for my new elliptical trainer to be delivered. Ditto having a double caramel Magnum bar while I figure out the assembly.

After all, I bought it because I like to eat!

My hair

With long hair I can only manage two styles: the messy ponytail (not the cute version, the homeless baglady one) and the sexy, just finished a wild fucking tousled look. Unless I pay good money at the salon, there is no in-between.

This does nothing to support my I-am-awesome-give-me-a-better-job search.